Spring Break
Pop Culture
by Bradley Stern
Arts | 4/1/08
Posted online at 11:51 PM EST on 3/31/08
Now, I'm not one to pay any mind to the latest gossip magazine fodder. I don't do fluff stories from anonymous sources riddled with inaccuracies and pointed fingers. I'm a cold, hard facts kind of guy. I need my models sniffing the cocaine on tape, not through word of mouth. I like concrete evidence. That's why I visited the local Babies "R" Us and searched the registry to confirm the list of gifts she's uploaded. Don't take the Bugaboo Frog Stroller, anyone-I'm on it.
Regardless, there was one story that's been incessantly covered across the blogosphere that I deemed at least potentially truthful, even enough to force me to give it some thought. According to the U.K.'s Daily Mail, Madonna is reportedly working out a deal with top Hollywood executives to shoot a Casablanca remake, in which the story would be set in war-torn, modern-day Iraq. Now you're saying, "Casablanca? Madonna Ciccone wants to put her leotard-friendly bum into a remake of one of the world's greatest films ever made?" Oh, yes. And if this is true, and she puts her mind to it, it will happen. Why? It's Madonna, lest we forget. The woman is a living legend. She's an international icon. She did Evita. She could enter a studio, defecate into a microphone and call it a hit the very next day.
Speaking of which, she just did that: It's called "Four Minutes (To Save The World)," and it features Timbaland and Justin Timberlake, and it's out on radio stations around the world this week. It's the first song by Timbaland that truly encapsulates all that he was popular for during the summer of 2006-repackaged for 2008! So when you turn on your radio and say, "Oh, hey! I know this song. Isn't this that Nelly Furtado song from two years ago? No, wait, I think it's that Justin Timberlake duet with Beyoncé. Wait ... No. I know what this is; this is that Nelly Furtado, Justin Timberlake and Timbaland collaboration. No, wait, I think it's The Jonas Brothers. Hey, look, Susan, my body's convulsing. I'm actually seizing right now. Susan!" that's when you know you've heard the new Madonna song.
In summary, buy the single because you need to support Lady M-Dolla, but don't actually listen to it.
Regardless, there was one story that's been incessantly covered across the blogosphere that I deemed at least potentially truthful, even enough to force me to give it some thought. According to the U.K.'s Daily Mail, Madonna is reportedly working out a deal with top Hollywood executives to shoot a Casablanca remake, in which the story would be set in war-torn, modern-day Iraq. Now you're saying, "Casablanca? Madonna Ciccone wants to put her leotard-friendly bum into a remake of one of the world's greatest films ever made?" Oh, yes. And if this is true, and she puts her mind to it, it will happen. Why? It's Madonna, lest we forget. The woman is a living legend. She's an international icon. She did Evita. She could enter a studio, defecate into a microphone and call it a hit the very next day.
Speaking of which, she just did that: It's called "Four Minutes (To Save The World)," and it features Timbaland and Justin Timberlake, and it's out on radio stations around the world this week. It's the first song by Timbaland that truly encapsulates all that he was popular for during the summer of 2006-repackaged for 2008! So when you turn on your radio and say, "Oh, hey! I know this song. Isn't this that Nelly Furtado song from two years ago? No, wait, I think it's that Justin Timberlake duet with Beyoncé. Wait ... No. I know what this is; this is that Nelly Furtado, Justin Timberlake and Timbaland collaboration. No, wait, I think it's The Jonas Brothers. Hey, look, Susan, my body's convulsing. I'm actually seizing right now. Susan!" that's when you know you've heard the new Madonna song.
In summary, buy the single because you need to support Lady M-Dolla, but don't actually listen to it.
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