Spring Break
Going above and beyond the "summer vacation" conversation
by Joel Herzfeld
Op-Ed | 8/26/08
Posted online at 12:54 AM EST on 8/26/08
I hate it when people ask me about my summer break. It's all anyone ever talks about this first week or so back on campus, and it stinks. I hate having to repeat myself nine times a week. On the other hand, it's polite to show an interest in the lives of your buddies, and summer activities are the logical topic of conversation for pals who haven't seen each other since May. What to do?
The case for renouncing the summer-break conversation is antisocial and vaguely misanthropic. In these days of Facebook and cell phones, it isn't hard to keep up with friends over summer. An e-mail or instant message exchange every few weeks or so is all it takes. No problem, right? According to my peevish logic, if you don't bother keeping up with a person over summer, then you don't care about his summer vacation and have no business asking about it.
But this isn't always so. For one thing, it's only natural to be curious about how your lapsed friends enjoyed their summers, even if you haven't spoken to them in months. For another, there's a difference between not keeping up and not giving a damn. And besides, grouchy as I am, I'm not ignorant to the possibility that some people might enjoy having the same conversation a million times with a million friends.
Not that I have a million friends, or even nine. I lied about that a few paragraphs up. But let me give another argument.
You have a bunch of casual friends and associates with whom you haven't kept up. These are all people you'll see on a regular basis. If you really do hang with them that much, then what they did over summer will eventually come out, right? And if not, doesn't it stand to reason that it wasn't worth talking about in the first place?
Alas, the same logic that allows me to make these crabby speculations also defeats them. Because in my argument above, the only reason a pair of friends would have for not just talking about summer immediately is that it's boring to repeat yourself. The argument assumes that everyone is like me-that is, that everyone is filled with hatred and disgust at the prospect of having to go through yet another interaction.
The case for renouncing the summer-break conversation is antisocial and vaguely misanthropic. In these days of Facebook and cell phones, it isn't hard to keep up with friends over summer. An e-mail or instant message exchange every few weeks or so is all it takes. No problem, right? According to my peevish logic, if you don't bother keeping up with a person over summer, then you don't care about his summer vacation and have no business asking about it.
But this isn't always so. For one thing, it's only natural to be curious about how your lapsed friends enjoyed their summers, even if you haven't spoken to them in months. For another, there's a difference between not keeping up and not giving a damn. And besides, grouchy as I am, I'm not ignorant to the possibility that some people might enjoy having the same conversation a million times with a million friends.
Not that I have a million friends, or even nine. I lied about that a few paragraphs up. But let me give another argument.
You have a bunch of casual friends and associates with whom you haven't kept up. These are all people you'll see on a regular basis. If you really do hang with them that much, then what they did over summer will eventually come out, right? And if not, doesn't it stand to reason that it wasn't worth talking about in the first place?
Alas, the same logic that allows me to make these crabby speculations also defeats them. Because in my argument above, the only reason a pair of friends would have for not just talking about summer immediately is that it's boring to repeat yourself. The argument assumes that everyone is like me-that is, that everyone is filled with hatred and disgust at the prospect of having to go through yet another interaction.
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Jacob
posted 8/26/08 @ 7:01 PM EST
Joel is right on the money about this, post-summer stop and chats are unbearable.
One idea a friend of mine came up with: Make a bunch of index cards summarizing where you were and what you did over the summer, then hand them out to whomever tries to engage you in the "what did you do this summer" dialogue. (Continued…)
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